Dear Blake,
I’d like some advice about a family situation that has been going on for the entire 34 years of my marriage. My husband is not kind to my now-grown sons. He gives me the silent treatment for weeks over small disagreements. My eldest son visited us for my 75th birthday and, after receiving my spouse’s cold shoulder, he informed me he won’t be visiting again because of my husband’s rude behavior.
I’m looking for a part-time job so I can pay off some bills and move out. I asked years ago that we put the house up for sale, divide the funds and go our separate ways. He said he’d burn down the house before he would allow me to get a penny from the sale.
I want to keep things calm, but I want to leave in another year with some proceeds from the sale of the house. We no longer sleep together and we talk less to avoid disagreements. I don’t even want to cook for him, but I do it to avoid his negative reactions. What can I do?
Signed, Debbie
From Helena, Montana
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Dear Debbie,
I’m not sure why your husband is openly hostile to you and your children. It could be because he thinks your sons are more of man then he is, which may force him to look at his long list of embarrassing inadequacies. Here are some suggestions to resolve your problems. Tell your husband to be nicer to your sons, to insure that he doesn’t get roughed up by them before you make the decision to send him to a nursing home. Or, overcook every meal you prepare for him, and tell him considering his destination after he dies, that he should get used to burnt food. Or this idea, punch him in the face while he’s sleep and then push him out the bed. Tell him he was having a nightmare, and the fall will explain his face being swollen. And this last idea is my favorite. The next time he says he’s going to burn down the house, record it on your phone. Then, you burn it down, take the recording of his voice to the police, and have him arrested for arson. Problem(s) solved. I hope this helps.
Blake