Dear Blake,

I am a very insecure woman in my current relationship. I’m 55, he’s only 27 and I easily get jealous. What can I do to prevent him from looking at another woman?

Signed, Joan

from Louisville, Kentucky

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Dear Joan,

Considering you’re 28 years older than he is, if you really don’t want him looking at another woman, here’s what you should do. Give him a sedative that will put him in a deep sleep. And while he’s snoozing, gouge his eyes out. I hope this helps.

Blake