My 40-year-old daughter has never grown up. Until recently, she relied on her grandmother to make ends meet. Her grandmother passed away, and now I’m all she has. After she was fired from her civil-service job and evicted from her apartment, she broke her leg in a hiking accident. I got her into an apartment and have been supporting her for a few months now.
Once her leg has healed, she has an entry-level job to return to, however long that lasts. I don’t think it pays enough for her to live on. I offered to pay for training in ANYTHING she’s interested in, but she shows no interest in a part-time job to help with bills. I can’t believe what she tells me because she never learned responsibility, accountability or honesty.
She has now quit texting me because I called her out on her continual excuses, lies and half-truths. I’m committed to paying her rent until her leg is fully healed, but then what? Do I let her go to the street in hopes she’ll learn responsibility? I know what can, and probably will, happen. To say she’s ill-prepared is an understatement.
From Portland, Oregon
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It’s unfortunate that your daughter is so irresponsible. I think you should subject her to a certain level of starvation, but you should step in, only after her stomach has become extremely bloated. Here are some other ideas. Move her to a place that’s roach and rat infested. When she gets to the point where she says she’d rather live in a cardboard box, accommodate her, and then you won’t have to pay any rent. You said she never learned responsibility, accountability or honesty. Let her live in the streets for a while, and when she commits enough crimes to survive, and gets tossed into prison, she’ll learn responsibility, accountability, honesty… and loyalty, to one of the female gangs she’ll be forced to join. If she stopped texting you and your name is on the lease, contact her and try to make peace. If your name is not on the lease, block her number just in case she tries to contact you. And lastly, you said she broke her leg while hiking. Then what you should do is take her camping in a place that’s extremely remote. And in the middle of the night, leave and let her fend for herself, because when she gets hungry enough, she’ll find a way to survive. Also when you leave, take her compass and cellphone, because if she keeps those things, it will make it easier for her to find her way back to civilization, I hope this helps.