Dear Blake,

I love to travel, yet I loathe traveling with my husband. He gets anxious and extremely mean on the days leading up to the trip and especially while en route. I do all the planning and pay for everything, and I regard it as not only ungrateful and rude, but unnecessary. Is it wrong for me to not want him to come on the next big trip I plan?

Signed, Emily
From Nashville, Tennessee

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Dear Emily,

It sounds like your husband is a nightmare on your vacations. Your goal should be to select a trip you can go on… and leave your husband there. Here are some options. Have a weekend getaway in the Florida Everglades. Get him intoxicated and drove off. And don’t worry about him getting out, because even if he was sober and in excellent physical shape, the alligators would still catch him. Or go the Himalayas. If you abandon him there, he’ll either freeze to death, or get pounded into the ground by an abominable snowman that’s very territorial. Or maybe this idea. How about the Serengeti. There’s no way he can outrun a cheetah, and his luck won’t be any better trying outkick a pride of lions. And lastly, take him on a cruise. An “accidentally” push him overboard, and you’ll be permanently rid of him. He’ll eventually be eaten by sharks, or sink to the bottom where tiny fish can live in his spacious empty skull. I hope this helps.