Dear Blake,

I’m a realtor and managing broker helping my fiancé’s son, “Mark,” buy a new home. We’re set to close next month. Tonight, my fiancé, “Simon,” told me I am not to keep any of my commission — that Mark expects me to give it all to him. Granted, I was planning to give Mark a token of appreciation — a few hundred dollars, perhaps — but not my entire commission!

I told Simon he must have misunderstood, that this is my job, my work. No one gives someone their entire paycheck, do they? I don’t think there’s any way Mark would expect 100% of my commission, but Simon says if I don’t agree, there will be “consequences.”

Our relationship is already strained, and I feel this is not only over the top but also completely disrespectful. I’m trying not to rock the boat with the holidays coming up. Please help me.

Signed, Maria
From Flagstaff, Arizona

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Dear Maria,

In my opinion, Simon is being unreasonable. You said your relationship is already strained, so I think you should stretch it more until it snaps, crackle, and pops. Here are some ideas for your consideration. Try to get the seller to back out of the deal, so Mark can try again… with another realtor. Or ask Mark if he can remember the exact date when he decided to become an entitled freeloader, just in case you figure out how to build a time machine and go back to reverse his lazy shiftless mindset. Or this idea. Ask Simon did his first wife leave him because he was teaching his son to be a leach, or did his mother teach their loser? And lastly, what consequences was Simon referring to, dumping you? I think you ought to get rid of him, but only after telling him that his stupidity is obviously genetically transferable, and you don’t want to be partially responsible for bringing another moron into this world. I hope this helps.