Dear Blake,

After attending a water aerobics class for three months, I have had it with the talkers in the pool. I’m not the only one annoyed that a handful of ladies disrespect the instructors and the rest of the class. They have been asked to quiet down by instructors and the other participants. There is even a sign on the door asking for limited talking.

These elderly ladies are oblivious to how loud and disturbing they are. Some have hearing loss and the acoustics in an indoor pool are terrible, so their voices just get louder and louder. I kid you not, two of them talk the entire hour, which makes it difficult for the rest of us to hear the instructor or the music very well.

They are kidding themselves if they think they are working out — they just bob up and down and talk. Once in a while, they ask “What are we doing now?” because they are not paying attention. When these ladies start talking to each other, those nearby get distracted and can’t work out, either.

Am I wrong to think that when a class starts, the talking should stop so everyone can participate in the class?

Signed, Thelma
From Springfield, Illinois

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Dear Thelma,

Your class seems to have plenty of rude women, with the complete disregard to others. And I think you would be well within your rights to teach those floating fossils a lesson. Here are some ideas. The next time one of them disrupts the class, have someone throw a block of ice toward them. As the temperature arounds her drops, so will her chatter… and heart rate. Or this idea. Suggest to the instructor to tell the talkative women to get out of the water, because they’ve been in it so long, they’re starting to get wrinkled. At their ages, you’re not likely to ever be wrong. Or maybe this idea. With considerable velocity, toss a life preserver at them made out of wood. After a few of them get knocked out, the others will refrain from the irritating gabbing. This last idea is my favorite. Talk the instructors into having some divers wearing scuba gear, to loiter below the surface during the aerobics class. And if any one of those inconsiderate women start talking, have the divers pull them underwater for a few seconds. If it happens to those old bats enough times, they’ll get the message… unless they like swallowing chlorine. I hope this helps.