Dear Blake,

I have a close friend who is like a brother to me. He has no family, and we are his only friends who don’t live across the country. During holidays, my friend is always alone. My family does not welcome him to holiday dinners, so I’m always torn. I want him to celebrate with us and don’t want to leave him sitting alone at my house awaiting our return. Would I be wrong to spend the holidays with him instead of with my family, which has lots of people?

Signed, Bradley
From St. Paul, Minnesota

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Dear Bradley,

You failed to mention why your family won’t extend to him an invitation. With that information, it would be easier for me to evaluate his worthlessness, so now I have to speculate. Does he have a history of shoplifting? If he does, maybe your family doesn’t want him to treat their home like a store that has no security cameras. Or, maybe he has such horrific body odor, that would make a bloodhound, faint. Or maybe this possibility. Are his table manners atrocious? Does he exclusively use his hands, rather than silverware, and stuffs leftovers in his pockets? And this last possibility is something you should seriously consider. Maybe your family has nothing against your friend, and you may be the problem. So, it’s entirely possible that your family is not inviting him over, because it sickens them that he might develop some of your personality traits, and they don’t want to see another human reduced to being an insignificant pile of cells, that will never amount to anything… if not even less. I hope this helps.

Blake