Dear Blake,

I’m a 68-year-old married man with no close friends. I worked for 35 years in my family-owned bar and restaurant, until they lost it. After that, I worked as an assistant manager in a few fast-food places, then as an assistant manager in a major pharmacy.

At 65, after three knee surgeries and a foot fusion, I retired from working full time. I now work part time for a physical therapy center, mostly to keep busy and make a few bucks. I have no hobbies or major interests. I have a few health issues, which are under control.

I feel lonely most of the time. I know a lot of people and get along with people — I just feel lonely. I have two sons I’m very proud of who have families of their own, but they’re busy with their lives. I have no one to talk to who won’t judge me for feeling the way I do. Can you give me any direction of where to turn?

Signed, Don
From South Bend, Indiana

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Dear Don,

Having close friends is always a good idea. Thus, I have to try to determine why you have been completely shunned by all humanity and what to do about it. Here are some ideas. At 68, maybe you should consider going to a park early in the morning and feed the pigeons. That’s usually what elderly misfits do daily to entertain themselves on daily basis. Or, start going to parties at senior citizen communities. Hopefully you can find someone there that’s not too rickety to dance with. Or this idea. For a hobby, start making paper planes. That way you can reflect on a time when you were in your  youth, reflecting on why people didn’t like you back then either. And lastly, consider this possible fact. It’s likely that you don’t have any close friends, because you are an extremely boring person, and to be honest, I got a little drowsy reading you letter. So, I would suggest that you try to bond with people, before they start nodding off when you start talking. I hope this helps.