Dear Blake,
I was waiting outside of Wal-Mart for almost two days to do some Christmas shopping on Black Friday. As soon as the doors opened, people behind me ran passed me and almost everything I wanted to get that was on sale was gone. That was not fair. I followed the rules, and I was respectful and courteous. What are your thoughts on this matter?
Signed, Judith
From Jacksonville, Florida
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Dear Judith,
Christmas shopping during the holiday season can be very emotionally and spiritually fulfilling, as the joy of giving is emphasized. However, if you’re in line at Wal-Mart waiting to get the best sales, forget that courteous crap, and behave more like a lioness stalking her prey, and don’t retract your claws until you’ve made the kill. Next year if you’re in the front of the line, as soon as Wal-Mart gives you the green light, try to bolt out in front of everyone, while simultaneously dropping marbles behind you. This would more than likely cause your fellow shoppers to fall and probably injure themselves, possibly breaking some bones. This will give you the extra time you need to get to the bargains that your heart has been set on. But so you don’t appear to be inhuman and barbaric, after your shopping cart is full and you’re walking pass the people that are laying on the ground screaming in pain as a result of the marbles you dropped, be sure and tell those savages where the sales are for extra strength aspirin and ace bandages. I hope this helps.
Blake