My wedding 25th anniversary is in January. To celebrate it, I want to climb Mount McKinley with my wife. She is very reluctant, and I’m trying to figure what to say to convince her to go. You got any ideas?
From Portland, Oregon
* * * * * * * *
Congratulations on your 25th anniversary, because most couples don’t make it that far. But I’m completely baffled on why it lasted so long considering the stupidity of your request. You want to climb the highest mountain in America, that’s in Alaska… in January? I have no doubt that even Eskimos think you’re a moron. I’ve heard people call hiking a sport. News Flash! It’s not a sport! It’s an activity for misguided people who aren’t honest enough to admit that they have a death wish. And when you get to the top, what’s up there besides frostbitten limbs that fell off of some of the previous idiots that made it that far? However if it’s that important to you, and your wife agrees, then go for it. But don’t be surprise during your ascent, that you see a fast moving gigantic snowball, that was created by a hiker farther up the mountain from you, after his head froze and fell off and began to roll downhill. (Based on the cartoons I saw as a kid, that’s actually plausible) I hope this helps.