Dear Blake,
I have been married for 40 years. Like all married couples, we have had our ups and downs, but we have a good marriage. We have two children and five grandchildren. I wouldn’t change anything, except I never had an engagement ring. My husband has bought jewelry for me over the years, but never what I really want: a diamond ring. Should I be direct and tell him what I want?
Signed, Ginger
From Portland, Oregon
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Dear Ginger,
Everyone has secret hidden desires that want in order to fill an important emotional need in their life. But I’m surprised that you can’t see the writing on the wall, because the most likely reason that he hasn’t bought you an engagement ring is because he doesn’t like you, and probably never has. Considering the fact that he has been trapped for 40 years, he’s probably still better over the tactics you used to con him into marrying an ingrate like yourself. Isn’t it enough that he has to be constantly reminded of the mistake he made of walking down the aisle, each time he sees his grandchildren that he loves? You are a heartless bitter woman, that has probably made plans to bump him off, using the insurance money to buy some symbolic jewelry, and then laughing at him in your wicked creaky voice every time you drive pass the cemetery that you quickly had him laid to rest to avoid an autopsy, which would have revealed your greed that compelled you to commit murder. On the other hand, maybe your husband really loves you, and he simply could never afford the dazzling ring that he would like to place on your finger as he kneels. Either/or, I’m comfortable with both positions. I hope this helps.
Blake