Dear Blake,
I am 50 years old, and even though I have had several proposals in the past, I never married or had kids. I chose to diligently pursue my career, rather than a committed relationship. I now run a very successful business and I want a man in my life that I can eventually marry, hopefully soon. What do you think my chances are for snagging a good one?
Signed, Charlotte
From Topeka, Kansas
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Dear Charlotte,
Congratulations on reaching your business goals that you pursued so relentlessly. Unfortunately, you’re now a wretched, childless, spinster which makes it highly unlikely that you’ll be able maintain any man’s attention. Even though there’s nothing wrong with your past choices, most men will always think there’s something creepy about you. And due to the stresses of trying to run a business, my guess is you probably drank a lot, addicted to prescription medication, and aged terribly. So to review the big picture, you’re too old to have children, and you look like you’re in your late 80’s. But you do have one thing going for you, which is you have money, and that alone will always attract a certain type of man. Just be sure that if you marry him, don’t eat any food that he prepared for you that he seems very anxious for you to taste, as he smirks with a slight scent of an unfamiliar perfume that you are certain that you didn’t purchase. I hope this helps.
Blake