Ask Blake Picture111

Dear Blake,

I’m in the first grade and there is a girl that I really like. At recess, anytime I see another boy talking to her, I push them to the ground because I am bigger than they are. She tells me that’s being mean. I don’t think it’s being mean. Do you think it’s being mean?

Signed, Jack

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Dear Jack,

Have a grown up explain phrase to you, “puppy love” because that’s exactly what you are experiencing. And because of your personality trait, have them explain to you the word “stalker”, because that is likely what you’ll become when you become an adult. I think your school is being reckless by allowing you to be unleashed on innocent children during recess. However, if they have no choice, I think your movement on the playground should be restricted with some sort of shackles. Bullies like you are often the reason why wimps at school go berserk and make national headlines. If you think you’ll like traveling, this may be some good news… sort of. I don’t have the ability to predict the future, but I am willing to bet that when you become of age, you’ll become a drifter wandering aimlessly across the country. And every time you arrive in a town or city, people will begin turning up missing, as you become more proficient at digging shallow graves. Also, ask your mommy and daddy to explain to you the concept of hell. I hope this helps.

Blake