Dear Blake,
My son will be 3 in a couple of months. He is a wonderful child with a lot of personality. I am a bit worried about him not brushing his teeth since I have noticed a line of what I guess is plaque going across his teeth near his gums. He refuses to brush his teeth and he will not let me brush his teeth for him. If I even approach him with some toothpaste in my hand, he’ll cross his arms and scream at the top of his lungs. I wondered if you had any other suggestions for me.
Signed, Raquel
From New York City, New York
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Dear Raquel,
It’s good that you’re trying to teach your son at an early age good dental hygiene habits. But it’s bad when dentists scream at the top of their lungs, when they have to deal with a disrespectful little punk like the one that crept out of your womb. If you already tried depriving him of his favorite toys and that didn’t work, then stop feed him solid foods. Give him only the worst tasting strained vegetables you can find, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Explained to him that if he continues down this path, that’ll be the only thing his molars will be able to handle. Assuming that one of your parents wears dentures, before he goes to bed at night, have them talk to him while they’re not wearing dentures as they make some scary faces. The nightmares he’ll endure, and the child psychologist that he will need shortly after that, may prompt him into brushing after every meal. Keep in mind that you live in NYC. And if you wanted to show him an example of how he is going to look in a few years with his current mindset, there are plenty of raggedy- mouth crystal-meth addicts on every block, that will be happy to show your son their “dazzling” smiles, if you just give them a couple of bucks toward their next purchase. I hope this helps.
Blake