Dear Blake,
I am the owner of a company that employees about 20,000 people nationwide, that I have no doubt that you have heard of. Next week I will be interviewing someone for an accountant job that has a very impressive résumé. But here’s the thing, I knew this guy back in high school 40 years ago, and he bullied me every chance he got, including humiliating me in front of my girlfriend. Do you think I should still hire him?
Signed, C
From New York City, New York
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Dear C,
How a person acted when they were a teenager, and the way they are now can be two dramatically different things. But I think you would be a fool to pass up this opportunity to give him both barrels, and then some. Tell him at the outset of the interview that you contacted the school that he allegedly graduated from, and they said not only did he not graduate, but he was expelled for having a crystal-meth lab in his dorm room. here’s another idea. Sing out of key for about a half an hour straight, sounding as awful as you can, and when you’re finished, tell him the job was filled earlier in the day. But if he remembers who you are, and tries to play on your emotions as if you were old buddies, then hire him! Just make sure his office is right next to the janitor’s storage so he can smell nothing but cleansers all day long. To further enhance his inhalation of those fumes, have his window bolted down so he cannot get any fresh air, and remove the doors from both places. And the first time he complains about it, fire him on the spot, accusing him of having a substandard work ethic. I hope this helps.
Blake