Ask Blake Picture111

Dear Blake,

I have been living in the same apartment for years and never had a problem with any of my neighbors, until now. Three guys that live in the apartment above me plays their music at all hours of the night. I have complained to management, and then my neighbors refrain for a couple of days, but within a couple of days they’re at it again. I have lived here a lot longer than they have and I have no intention of moving. What do you think I should do?

Signed, Chuck
From Dallas, Texas

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Dear Chuck,

Disrespectful neighbors is something that most people can relate to. I would consider suggesting that you literally fight fire with fire, but there is a risk that you might cause smoke damage to your own place, besides arson is illegal. So they like music huh? Why not go and get some really good speakers, and set them as close to the ceiling as possible, and all night long play nothing but Polka Music, with the irritating lead sound of an accordion. But here is my favorite idea. Go to a talent agency and see if they can locate a couple of little girls that aspire to be actresses. Call the cops the next time those losers are having a party, and as the cops approach the apartment, have the girls (wearing dreadlocks) give the impression that they have just exited there, while holding a shot glass of whiskey in one hand, a joint in the other, and singing one of Bob Marley’s greatest hits. The bad news for your “former” neighbors, will be that they’ll be immediately taken to jail. The good news is, after other inmates find out what those three idiots are accuse of, they again will hear a music regularly, because prison doctors often play soft soothing music while repairing wounds that were created by shanks. I hope this helps.