Ask Blake Picture111

Dear Blake,

I have a girlfriend whom I love and I have another girlfriend whom I love too. How should I choose which one should I go for because I love them both equally. So please enlighten me how to find peace of mind since I can’t afford to lose both or even one for that matter! Thanks

Signed, Scott
From Chicago, Illinois

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Dear Scott,

You are apparently in a very awkward situation with a torn heart. I would encourage you to spend more time with each of them, and eventually you’ll find out something about one or both of their personalities that you can’t stand. Then, focus intensely on their flaws and keep the one that nauseates you the least. Maybe you should tell them about each other and let them settle it in an old fashioned duel, with you promising to marry the victor “if” they are eventually paroled from prison after getting convicted for premeditated murder. But, if you feel you have to have both women, move to Utah, become a Mormon and then marry both of them. If they agree to that, be honest enough to tell them that after the wedding, they have to stop wearing make-up, wear 18th century dresses, and be as robotic as possible with their speech and movements. One other thing, there are very few bars in Utah, and you might find it difficult to come home sober on a daily basis to a couple of spouses that the average person would construe as two homely ghosts. I hope this helps.