Dear Blake,
I have a cat that has the awful habit of bringing things in my home that it retrieved from outside. These things range from birds to lizards to old socks. I have no idea how to break her of this habit. Got any ideas?
Signed, Lori
From Las Vegas, Nevada
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Dear Lori,
Your complaint is common among cat lovers. And unfortunately, these little felines are usually pretty disgusting when they come home from doing their version of “shopping”. Here are a few options I think you should seriously consider. Get the exact weight of your cat, and then install a trap door directly under your pet door. And anytime your cute little kitty carries something in your home, the additional ounces will cause it to plummet about twenty feet straight down. After enough broken bones or sprained ankles, maybe it’ll get the message. Want something simpler? When it enters your home with an unauthorized item, have a boxing glove with a spring on it, punch it back outside! Watch some old Hanna-Barbera or Warner Brothers cartoons to get figure out how to install one of those. Or you can aggressively snatch out of its mouth whatever it brings in, hopefully along with a couple of teeth. If you do that a few times, it will be hard for your cat to carry anything… with just its gums. But if you feel there is nothing you can do to break it of this habit, then use it to your benefit. Show it where your local banks are, and then teach it to “retrieve” non-sequential unmarked bills. And don’t worry about the crime being linked to you. Cats are too arrogant to confess to anything and too finicky to request a lawyer. I hope this helps.
Blake