Dear Blake,
Me and my boyfriend are twenty years old. He is my very first boyfriend and I am his first girlfriend, and both of us are introverts, have had sheltered lives, and are new at relationships and romance. We think we’re in love, but we have no past relationships to compare it to, so we aren’t sure. How can we tell if we are?
Signed, Kendra and Jonathan
From Richmond City, Virginia
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Dear Kendra and Jonathan,
So, you want to know if what you feel is real? Ok, there are some clear signs that’ll probably make you hair stand on end, and maybe run for your lives. Kendra, when he’s watching sports on tv while you would rather he paid attention to you, do you fantasize about hitting him in the back of a head with a shovel, or any other blunt object you can lift and swing? If he gives another woman a flirtatious glance while you guys are at a shopping mall, do you have a strong desire to push him down a flight of stairs, and then taking your time calling for an ambulance as he lays on the floor moaning that he can’t feel his legs? Jonathan, if every time she’s in public dressed sexy, do you believe that she’s soliciting men that regularly use escort services? When she asks you to buy her something that she knows you really can’t afford, does it make you think that she is nothing more than a financially irresponsible gold digging wench, that will dump you as soon as you are in debt up to your ears? If any of my examples describes one or both of you, then yep, you probably in love. But don’t worry, if you two ever get married, these type of malicious and vindictive feelings will go away, only to be eventually replaced with a new set of reasons why you won’t be able to stand the sight of each other. I hope this helps.
Blake