Dear Blake,
I am a very shy person in a minimum wage job, and I decided to join an online dating service. I have no idea what to say or not say when I am setting up my profile, but I want to maximize my appeal so I can chose from a large pool. Would you please give me some advice regarding the initial set up.
Signed, Martin
From Annapolis, Maryland
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Dear Martin,
Online dating is something that millions of people use to meet each other, in search of that perfect mate. First and foremost, we have to deal with the issue of you being shy, because as a general rule, men that are introverted are usually creepy. So when you set up your profile, lie through your teeth. Cut and paste an image of a man from GQ Magazine so they will think that is you, just in case you’re just average looking, or heavily leaning toward ugly. Photoshop images of your fake picture along with a picture of Bill Gates to imply that you two are buddies. Include that you make a seven figure income, and that you’re looking for the right woman to lavish with gifts and endless vacations. But here’s a warning. The chances are you will be contacted by a long list of gold digging freeloading wenches, that are only interested in what you can do for them, and they probably falsified everything in their profile just to get your attention. I strongly encourage you to avoid deceptive women like that, because their self-centered narcissistic mindset does not allow them to value the importance of honesty in a relationship. One other thing. If you ever decide to meet one of them, and they are nothing close to what they posted on their profile, immediately end the date, and drive off in a rented exotic sports car. I hope this helps.
Blake