Dear Blake,
I just got hired as a used car salesman and I start in a couple days. I know this occupation has a very bad and seedy reputation, which is why I was reluctant to take this job, but I really need the income. Do you think I should feel embarrassed to tell my friends and family what I do for a living?
Signed, Ron
From Newark, New Jersey
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Dear Ron,
It’s always good to be employed and sustaining yourself. You just happened to have chosen a career that people trust about as much as they trust a seasoned politician or Satan. Your customers expect you to have the mindset of a low level crook and the morals of a jackal, and you have no right to disappoint them. If a car blows up that you just sold someone, only a couple of blocks away from the dealership, the customer may be momentarily angry, but they will respect you for conning them into buying a lemon. If one of the wheels come off while they are driving it home for the first time to show to their friends, as long as no one gets hurt, you may have brought some excitement into someone’s life that was stupid enough to trust you in the first place. But, even if all of your friends and family have contempt for you for your new job, don’t stress over it. Because eventually, you will be around people that admire and revere your business prowess, as you can brag about your impressive misleading sales pitches to many of your peers, because if there’s any justice on Judgment Day, like you, they will also get dropkicked into hell. I hope this helps.
Blake