Dear Blake,
I have a small poodle that frustrates me beyond description! He doesn’t listen to any of my commands, he barks continually at my invited guests, and the only time he seeks my attention is when he wants to get fed. And believe it or not, he even whimpers if I have the tv on a channel that he doesn’t like. I am ready to pull my hair out!!! What should I do?
Signed, Allen
From Toronto, Ontario, Canada
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Dear Allen,
Pet lovers often have to deal with dogs that seem to be rebellious. So every now and then, you have to remind that mutt he is your property. Ok, here are some suggestions. Because you live in Canada, you should loan him out to a dog sled team for a year or so. Maybe it’ll appreciate you more after it returns to you exhausted and frostbitten. When you give it a command, every time it doesn’t follow orders, let him see you pouring a scoopful of dog food down the garbage disposal, showing him that starvation is looming. As far as changing channels on your tv, don’t even consider doing it, unless that canine from hell is paying at least 50% of your cable bill. You might also want to check out a few youtube videos of the hammer throw in the Olympics. And after you’ve practiced enough, you should seriously consider grabbing that mongrel by the tail, start spinning around, and then tossing it into the next county. (Hopefully no innocent people will get injured when it lands). But maybe, you have a really nice pet that’s hanging around the wrong crowd. So I would encourage you to stop taking him to dog parks, because that’s the place these animals usually congregate to laugh and tell stories about their idiot owners. I hope this helps.
Blake