Ask Blake Picture

Dear Blake,

I’m a junior in high school and I’m on the wrestling team. I really want to excel in this sport with a more creative attack plan against my opponent. Do you have any ideas?

Signed, Hunter

from Henderson, Nevada

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Dear Hunter,

Try using some of the tactics that they use on the WWF. The next time you have your opponent down, smash a chair on the back of his head or any other blunt object in the area that you can lift and swing. Also, start mimicking the daily rituals of the WWF superstars, which includes lifting weights obsessively to look tough. This assures that you won’t get picked on by other inmates after the countless times you’ll get tossed into jail for domestics violence, because of the future anger management issues you’ll undoubtedly have due to your relentless use of steroids. I hope this helps.

Blake