Dear Blake,
I am 97 years old and no doubt I am on borrowed time. No one lives forever, so I’m not complaining. I am very wealthy, and I spend most of my time in my penthouse on the 43rd floor of the building that I own. Now, I want to do some crazy nutty things before I depart. Give me some ideas, because I hear you can be pretty creative.
Signed, J
From New York City, New York
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Dear J,
Sounds like you wanna leave’em talking about you for years. You shouldn’t be concerned about some of my suggestions even though they involve committing felonies, because a good lawyer should easily be able to delay your trial until you croak. Here’s something you might find entertaining. Go to the roof of your building, and start tossing down to the city streets hundred dollar bills. And you can watch how typically quiet passive people react when their survival instinct kicks in that’s fueled by greed, causes them to become ruthless savages when they see money floating in the air. Go to a movie theater, and punch every person in the face that talks loudly or forgets to turn off their cell phone. Take a couple of body guards with you just in case the patrons that you assault, attempts to retaliate by hitting you back. But if you really want to leave this “life” with a bang, on your death bed in your penthouse make sure you are surrounded by everyone who knows they are in your will. Tell them you recently went to Las Vegas, and gambled away everything you have, plus you owe the casinos around $500 million. Demand that each of them get a second job, and sell their homes and property in order to pay off the debt to clear your name. But please make sure that you’re only moments away from dying when you tell them this, because I don’t want you to feel any pain when several of them angrily grab you and toss you out of the nearest window. I hope this helps.
Blake