Dear Blake,
I am a 22 years old man and I have always been extremely shy. I have never even been to a social media website, but yesterday, I finally became a member of Facebook. I was blown away with how many hundreds of millions of people that have joined it. I have only been on a few dates in my life with women, and I admit I am very boring geek. So here’s my question. There are countless beautiful women on Facebook and I see a “like” button that is used a lot. If a woman “likes” something that I’ve written, exactly what does that mean?
Signed, Howard
From Overton, Nevada
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Dear Howard,
I am glad to see you get out of your shell. Here is the basic code language that you need to understand, and I would strongly urge you to avoid anyone that disagrees with me on this issue. Ok, here ya go.
- If she “likes” a comment that you post, all that means is she finds the comment interesting.
- If she “likes” two of your comments, she is probably a little attracted to you.
3 If there is a third “like”, she is visiting your page checking your relationship status.
- The fourth “like” means she wants to have your children, and the sooner, the better.
- The fifth “like” indicates she wants to have your children, even if you’re married.
- The sixth “like” means she’s a stalker and will probably kill you if you reject her advances.
- And after the seventh “like”, block her, seek a restraining order, legally change your name and identity, and keep a loaded gun with you at all times.
And there is one other thing you might need to know. Whenever you see a blue “thumbs up” on Facebook, these are hitchhikers that are indirectly requesting for someone to give them a ride somewhere. A recent study shows that 94% of all Facebook members are unemployed and don’t own a car. And the “thumbs up” usually means they want to be transported to another part of town, so they can do nothing all day with some of their similarly worthless friends. I hope this helps.
Blake