Dear Blake,

I am going to meet someone that I met on Facebook in the next week. Here is where it gets interesting. Neither one of us have ever posted any pictures of ourselves, and we have agreed not to. We talk on the phone every day. She has no idea what I look like, and I have no idea what she looks like. I live in Los Angeles and she lives in San Francisco. We’re going to meet in San Diego at a restaurant to have dinner. I am so excited about meeting her and she says she feels the same way about me. If we hit it off, I think we can get married, have children, and live happily ever after. What are your thoughts?

Signed, Andrew

From Los Angeles, California

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Dear Andrew,

I can almost hear the excitement in your voice regarding this potentially fulfilling relationship you’re about to launch. Unfortunately, her lack of imagery suggests that it is something about her that she does not want public. You may have unknowingly gotten emotionally attached to a wanted criminal, who’s name and picture is regularly plastered all over the news. Or possibly an escaped patient from a funny farm with a personality comparable to those loonies in “One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest”. Do you know her age? You may have fell for a lonely rickety old woman that spends a lot of time on Facebook when she’s not gumming her food. Why are you even taking a chance on dating someone from San Francisco? She says she’s a “she”. But in the City by the Bay that could be 100 different things, 101 if you want to include a straight female. But if it’s that important to you, meet her. On the other hand, you didn’t post any of your photos either, so who’s to say that you aren’t the weird one? Considering that you two live in California, where most of the citizens are either crackpots, misfits, or screwballs, it’s a really good chance that at the highly anticipated meeting, both of you will be mutually terrified. I hope this helps.

Blake