Dear Blake,

My daughter and her family come to visit, they are very messy. They have a 3- and a 4-year-old and two large, long-haired dogs. I can deal with the children’s messiness — but the dogs, no. I agreed to let them bring their dogs if they cleaned up after them, but it hasn’t happened. The dogs shed terribly. The hair needs to be vacuumed daily. They don’t practice it at home and don’t do it here, even after being told the dog hair is everywhere in my house. I’m not sure what to say or do at this point. Can you help me out?

Signed, Nora

From Lake Tahoe, Nevada

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Dear Nora,

It is very unfortunate that you are being subjected to this type of inconvenience in your own home. The only thing you can really do is to figure out how to run your daughter out of your house, along with her mangy mutts. Here are some options. Tell your daughter that you plan on going to the animal shelter to buy a pit bull that you’ve become attached to, even though its previous ten owners brought him there for unspecified reasons. You can enforce a rule that the dogs are not allowed in the house unless they are completely wrapped up in aluminum foil. This will also resolve any issues if the dogs are not house broken. You can take those mongrels for a walk around town, looking for someone that is in the process of moving out of town, and then sneak them into the back of their U-Haul and close the door. To really hammer home the message that you’re not happy about it, tell them that before you go to bed at night if you see any dog hair anywhere, you’re gonna gather it up and mix it in with their breakfast the following day. And to make your point, place in your living room, a 24 x 36 framed picture of a fur ball. But if all of those ideas are too much work, and you want to keep it simple, try this. Realistically you’re going to need to invest in a vacuum that’s perfect for pet hair and ask them to give the house a once over before they leave, if they’re insistent on bringing the dogs with them. You might also want to do some reading on how to clean up pet hairs, as it sounds like you’ll be doing a lot of cleaning. I hope this helps.

Blake