Dear Blake,

I’m in a second marriage, which was only for the benefit of insurance so my husband could get insurance through my employer’s plan. We were together for many years before getting married. He received the health care he needed, and I’m ready to move forward with my life as a single person. However, he now says he’s happy being married. That was not our agreement. I am not interested in spending any more time being dissatisfied with this relationship, but I don’t want to lose his friendship. I want out of this marriage, NOW! Please help!!!

Signed, Shirley

From St. Louis, Missouri

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It is unfortunate that you are being subjected to a cruel irony. You help a man get health insurance, and now this same guy makes you sick. If you really want him out, here are some ideas. Tell him that you no longer believe in medicine and you only believe in natural remedies; such as eating the right vegetables will cure everything from migraine headaches to gunshot wounds. Fill the house with incense while playing some strange new age music, and then tell him during a chant that you now believe that illness and death are a fiction of our imagination. Or, inform him that you’ll be moving to Utah and converting to a new religion called “Equality in Polygamy”, that allows women to have as many husbands as they want, and his access to you will be based on his appearance, compared to your future “younger” husbands. But if you want to do the simplest thing, tell him you are removing him from your policy. But be sensitive and make sure he knows how much you love him.  So in a soft tender tone, explain to him that if he chooses to stay with you anyway considering his health issues, within a year or so you will always think about him when you walk passed your fireplace… and see an urn filled with his torched remains. I hope this helps.

Blake