Dear Blake,
I have a super-sensitive adult child who calls me regularly to criticize another sibling. Mothers do not like to hear their children being criticized by anyone — including their siblings. It’s hurtful, no matter who does it. I’m an old lady, and I don’t need this stress. I love all my children. They all are successful people with friends who seem to admire them. I suspect there may be some jealousy involved in these complaints. Suggesting counseling would make me the “bad guy.” Any advice for me?
Signed, Erika
From Knoxville, Tennessee
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Dear Erika,
You are obviously in between a rock and a hard place. You must also accept the fact, that no matter what you do, at least one of your children won’t be able to stand the sight of you anymore. So, I’ll offer some suggestions. Pretend to have a hearing loss, and tell your adult child that you will only communicate on this issue after both of you have learned sign language. Start saving your money to pay for his/her counseling because they are going to eventually blame you for any problems they have, and then demand that you pay for their ongoing therapy. If it’s your daughter that’s complaining, tell her that she is going through PMS. If it’s a son that complaining, tell him the same thing. But sometimes, the best solution is for the three of you to sit down and talk. To be honest and candid, displaying love and respect for each other, can often overwhelm any insignificant friction. If that doesn’t work, tell both of them that the man that they thought was their father wasn’t, and their real father could be one of at least a dozen men that you met in your youth, when you used to hang out at seedy night clubs. Even though both of your children will immediately disown you, at least they won’t be able to accuse you of having favorites. I hope this helps.
Blake