Ask Blake Picture111

Dear Blake,

I have four close friends that are constantly late to wherever we are suppose to meet. I’m always prompt, they’re always at least one hour late, and it drives me crazy! I complain about it, but they just laugh it off. What can I do to make them be more sensitive to my position?

Signed, Louise

from Montgomery, Alabama

* * * * * * * *

Dear Louise,

Here’s my idea that will make them more understanding to how you feel. Invite them all over your house to hang out, or watch a movie, etc. Serve them their favorite beverage or alcohol, and never let any glass get less than half full. Once they have consumed enough, all of them eventually will want to go to the bathroom. And as soon as the first one takes a step in that direction, run in front of them and tell them you’ll be in there for less than a minute. After an hour of that person squirming outside of the door, probably along with the other three, keep telling them, you’ll be out in less than a minute. To kill time in there, bring your laptop that can play movies, or even a thick novel that you can read as you relax. After you open the door and explained the point you were trying to make, tell them that they can now take turns going into the bathroom in an orderly fashion, which at this point will be almost impossible. Also, it will be a good idea to have a mop ready, in the likelihood that one or more of their bladders explode. I hope this helps.