Dear Blake,
I’m dating my grammar school and high school sweetheart, “Gary.” We’ve known each other since I was 6. (I’m 33 now.) In high school we dated for nine months and were in love, but he told lies to my dad, so Dad ordered him to stay away. Now, 16 years later, after being only friends all this time, we finally both became single and got back together. Gary is and always has been the love of my life, as I am his. He would do anything for me. He says he wants to marry me and have kids, and he’s never said that to any other woman. Since we broke up at 16, Gary has done some bad things (drugs, prison). Because of it, my dad hates him. Dad was finally getting used to Gary being back in my life until a few months ago, when Gary crashed my car after relapsing. Gary is getting me a new car and trying to get my dad to like him, but Dad is stubborn. I know he’s just worried about me. Is there any way to get my dad used to him?
Signed, Joi
From Trenton, New Jersey
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Dear Joi,
It’s can be emotionally difficult when a parent rejects someone that their children has chosen. It’s even worse when the parents don’t understand why their children are attracted to losers. Ok, here’s my assessment. I think your father is being a little unreasonable, because even though your boyfriend is a drug using criminal, your dad should accept the fact that compared to the average man in Trenton, New Jersey Gary is a good catch. I think it’s great that he is getting you a new car, but I think your happiness will only last until the owner of the car realizes that it’s missing. You are wondering if your dad will ever get used to him. The good news is, your dad will probably say some kind words about your boyfriend. The bad news is, it will only happen at Gary’s funeral, and even then he’ll be reluctant. And finally, you said he wants to marry you, have kids, and he’s never said that to any other woman. If he gets a long enough sentence in prison, he’ll probably be whispering those exact same things into the ear of his cellmate. I hope this helps.
Blake