Dear Blake,
Common manners are going extinct quicker than the dinosaurs did. I was raised to open doors, stand up for women sitting down at the table, etc. Nowadays opening the door for most women feels like getting slapped in the face. There is no acknowledgment of any kind. Has our society disintegrated that far? These days if I open the door for a woman, and she doesn’t acknowledge the courtesy, I say, “Thank you!” loud enough for her to hear. What are your thoughts on chivalry?
Signed, Arnold
From Knoxville, Tennessee
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Dear Arnold,
Nowadays, women want to be treated as an equal. So that’s what I do, no matter how angry they get when I do it. Here are some of the things I suggest you start doing. If you see a woman struggling to carry something that’s too heavy, don’t help her. But instead, motivate her with words, like “come on you can do it”, “use those extra muscles”, or “if you carried a baby for nine months, you can handle this”. As far as opening doors for a woman, I never do that. My reasoning is, I’m not sure if she’s going to walk through the door, or walk passed it. She might even change her mind, halfway through the door. I feel it’s arrogant for me to assume where a woman I don’t know is going, so I act like they’re not even there. Another thing is, I never pay for a woman’s meal when we dine, because I think it’s insulting to her. I don’t want her to be under the impression that she would starve to death if it wasn’t for me. However I do encourage them to pay for my meal, to show them that they are special and I really value their presence. To conclude, I was once dating a woman who called me after her car broke down. When I came out and saw the problem was just a loose battery cable, I could’ve fixed it on the spot in a couple of seconds, but I didn’t. A few hours later when she figured it out, she was on her way. But before she angrily sped off, she attempted to literally run me over. The lady was later arrested and charged with attempted murder, and fortunately for her, all of the charges were dropped after a female judge heard the circumstances. (I didn’t even know women were allowed to go to law schools.) I hope this helps.
Blake