Dear Blake,

My brother-in-law has always been a bully and a chronic liar. It has torn our family apart. He’ll tell one family member one thing, and the other another story for the purpose of getting them mad at each other. He is also a narcissist. Innocent people have been victimized by all of this. Now he is moving on to the elderly neighbors and lying to them about family members. Confronting him will do no good. We have tried. How do we get him to stop the bullying and lying? His wife is no help because she has been brainwashed and can no longer think for herself. Please help.

Signed, Josephine
From New York City, New York

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Dear Josephine,

Your brother-in-law’s behavior is inexcusable and your frustration and outrage is justified. If he is going to say and do hurtful things, I would suggest that you and your family members should be even more vicious, until he is just about begging for mercy! Here are some ideas for your consideration. Start rumors that his anger and bitterness is prompted by him learning that his medical insurance won’t cover the sex change he is requesting, and Victoria’s Secret won’t raise his credit limit. If he tries to manipulate the elderly, encourage one of them to whack him in the back of the head with a 2 x 4, and then tell the senior citizen to tell the police that they dementia, and they don’t remember the assault. Or how about calling the cops and accuse of him a being a burglar so he can get tased in your home, and film the whole thing. But before you post the video on Youtube, have someone mimic his voice, with him on the ground screaming for his mommy, and demanding a change of underwear due to the effects of all those volts flowing through his body. But if you want someone else to do your dirty work, get the Mafia involved in NYC. Here’s how to do it. Send a letter to several of their crime bosses “signed” by your brother-in-law, stating that the “Sopranos” was a lousy show, and HBO should’ve been cancelled after the first season. After you do that, encourage his wife to stay way from him for a few weeks… unless you want to see her at the bottom of the East River too. I hope this helps.