My husband and I have had a long and happy marriage. We’ve raised two children, both of whom are doing well in life. I have much to be thankful for, but I keep having to remind myself of that because I’m having trouble adjusting to my changing relationship with my husband. We have a grandson. The boy has become the focus of my husband’s world. Because of that, my husband no longer wants to do things with me. He says he has too much to do or he is too tired to go out, so I go to social events by myself. In fact, I do everything by myself. If our grandson calls, though, he has all the energy in the world. I try to interact with the two of them, but when I do, I feel like a third wheel. I have worked hard to take good care of myself, and I try to look nice for him every day. He doesn’t notice. I’m actually starting to resent my grandson — something I never thought would happen. Do I just carry on and hope things get better? If you think I should talk to my husband about this issue, how do I do it without sounding petty and immature?
From Trenton, New Jersey
* * * * * * * *
I think it is improper and insensitive for your husband to neglect you, as he has been doing. The only thing you can do is to create a wedge between him and your grandson, that will destroy their relationship. Ok, here are some possible deal breakers. Tell your husband that you overheard your grandson telling his friends how stupid old people are, and he wishes “the old geezer” would stop hanging around him talking about how things used to be in ancient times. Or you could tell your grandson, that his grandfather is spending all of this time with him, in order to clear his conscience from when he tried to sell him a few years ago to an Asian sweat shop, but couldn’t find any buyers. You could temporarily swipe your grandson’s cell phone, and send a text to one of his friends, and then show the bogus text to your husband. And make it says something like, he wants to push his grandfather to his physical limitations, to see what it’s like for someone to have a heartache, and he plans to film it, put it on Facebook, to see how many “likes” it gets. But, if you want to get rid of the stress you have. Grow a garden in your backyard. The spectacular colors and fragrances just might put you at peace regarding your situation. If you still have the same animosity after that, I would suggest a different plant. Trying planting some drugs on your husband and grandson, and then call the police. That’ll separate them then, because one will be in juvenile detention, and the other one will be beaten up daily by inmates, unless he starts acting like a “grandmother” if you know what I mean. I hope this helps.