Dear Blake,

I am taking my six year old son trick-or-treating for the first time this upcoming Halloween. Do you have any tips?

Signed, Edward
From Richmond, Virginia

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Halloween is often the most fun time of the year for children. And this is probably the best time to teach your son the fundamentals of greed, while showing him how to exploit people who are displaying the joy of giving. Ok, here are my tips. Anytime your child gets candy from a home that he doesn’t like, have him throw a temper tantrum right on the spot. Some adults may be so alarmed by his act, that they might give him cash to go away and shut up. Or, you can have him wear a mask that is so terrifying, that is scares other children into giving them their candy, and maybe even their shoes and clothes, if they fit. Consider taking him to a ritzy part of town, and have him scale any fences, knocking on doors of mansions. If they refuse to give your son any treats and they threaten to call the police, have him run away from their home as fast as he can, but first throw some large rocks into the windshields of any expensive cars sitting in their driveways. As far as the future in concerned, when he becomes 9 or 10, he will be trick-or-treating with his friends. At that point remind him to always stay with a group of friends. That way when someone opens the door, he and his friends can rush in, grabbing any items they want, and then exit in a hurry. But first do a little research regarding your state, to ensure that these up-and-coming crooks can’t be tried as adults. I hope this helps.