My boyfriend and I have been dating for a year. He’s amazing, and I can see myself marrying him and having a family one day. There is only one problem. He’s applying to go into the police academy. I have always told people I would never be with a cop because of my own anxiety. We fight about this all the time, and while I don’t ask him to find something else to do, it’s kind of implied. I don’t mean to be like that (or do I?) because I want him to be happy and do what he wants, but I also am terrified his job won’t end well. He asks why I am even dating him, and the honest truth is because he is an amazing man who truly does right by people. I love him. But do you think he is right? Is this something that can be overcome?
From Harrisburg, Pennsylvania
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I don’t blame you for being nervous. But there are several different jobs a cop can have that will reduce the likelihood of violent encounters. Here are a few. If he sits behind a desk and do administrative work, you shouldn’t need to worry about his safety, you shouldn’t worry about him ever getting promoted either. Or he could be the fashion police. He could write out tickets to people they are wearing things like loud clothes or maybe plaids with stripes, so the people will be avoid getting laughed at, which may prompt a physical encounter if the person doesn’t like being ridiculed by strangers. He can be an art detective, investigating valuable pieces of stolen art. And the only people he will interact with is uppity rich people, that will attempt to bribe him rather than being exposed for knowingly purchasing items acquired from a museum robbery. However, I believe your overall concerns are justified. So this is what I am suggesting you do. Try to persuade your boyfriend to never go to dangerous places, where there is constant violence, and mentally unstable people that regularly carry guns. In other words, tell him to stay away from high schools. I hope this helps.