Dear Blake,
Christmas is coming up soon, and I dread it. Not because I am some version of Scrooge, but it’s because my brother is going to bring his triplets to stay with us from Los Angeles, and all three 9 year old kids steal. Last year, a good portion of my two children’s toys were missing. When my brother posted some images of him and his children on Facebook, his brats were playing with my kids toys. I have been family oriented, but the of them showing up for three days make me physically ill and angry. What should I do?
Signed, Candace
From Hartford, Connecticut
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Dear Candace,
The holiday season is most often to use to bond. Unfortunately, if justice is served, your three nephews will need a bail bond. I’m assuming your main objective is to stop those little crooks from ripping you off, so here are some options. On Christmas Day, show a video tape to your nephews of all the gifts your kids will receive, after their vacation is over. If those miniature crooks insist on seeing them immediately, tell them that the presents are secure in a bank vault… which is closed on federal holidays. Or, you can line all three of them up in a semi-circle, and spin while slapping their faces like Moe would do on the Three Stooges. This would be before they stole anything… as a warning. Or maybe this one, keep changing the day you and your kids will celebrate Christmas. If your brother and his delinquent dwarfs come December 25, when they arrive, tell him that you and your kids are going to celebrate it on January 25th. If the following year your brother wants to wait until January 25th, either push the date back to December 25th, or ahead to February 25th, so you and your children can have fun, minus the thieves. But if you prefer not confront your brother, just celebrate Christmas with him and don’t bring up the subject of presents getting stolen. So, put cameras all over the house from ever possible angle. When you see a theft, contact the police and let them cuff your brother and haul him away because no doubt he’s the ring leader and master planner of these robberies. And while your sibling is rotting in jail, give his roguish offspring to the nearest orphanage, because they’re always looking for cheap/free labor. Happy Holidays! I hope this helps.
Blake