Dear Blake,
I’m in my mid-40s, and a lot of my female friends are involved in multilevel marketing companies. Whether it be for eyelashes, supplements, jewelry, antiaging products, candles, leggings, etc., I receive nonstop “invitations” to buy their products. I’m old enough to know from experience that most of the products are rubbish, and many times way overpriced. I’m simply not interested. How do I politely (yet firmly) decline the invitations that come my way without hurting their feelings?
Signed, Viola
From Dallas, Texas
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Dear Viola,
Being direct might hurt their feelings. So I would encourage the indirect approach, that would discourage them from trying to peddle to you, their worthless junk. The answer is simple, buy some of their products and be extremely critical of it, even if you have to make stuff up. For the person that sells jewelry, buy a necklace from her and tell her the item was cheap because it caused a rash around your neck that was so bad, that the doctor who examined said it looked as if you botched an attempt to hang yourself. Whoever is selling the supplements, buy some from her and tell her either the pills caused you to hallucinate, or you actually had a lengthy conversation at a bus stop with Elvis Presley, discussing his upcoming album. After you buy some antiaging products, try to find a Hollywood make-up artist that will make you look 30 years older. Then tell the person you bought it from, that they must’ve accidentally sold you some pro-aging products. And finally, the candles. Buy three large ones and tell the woman that you are sending them out of state, as gifts for family members and close friends. And after a week or so, tell them the candles are defective because all three of them caused major fires. But then add that the good news is, the church, the orphanage, and the nursing home all had insurance, and the occupants who barely escaped, needed a little excitement in their lives. I hope this helps.
Blake