Dear Blake,

My daughter is a popular social media influencer. Since she has become more popular, she has been entertaining the idea of having plastic surgery to keep up a particular image that the media puts out there for society. I am totally against it. I think she became popular being who she is, and changing that is not going to make her more popular. Apart from that, it is expensive and dangerous, and she wants me to help her pay for it. Why are millennials so focused on their appearance and wanting to change it?

Signed, Loretta
From Lansing, Michigan

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Dear Loretta,

Something I think you should do, is take lots of pictures of her in the near future. That way years from now, you’ll recognize how that moronic “stranger” used to look. Here is some more information you might need. Millennial females are under the erroneous impression that they can maintain their youth forever, but they will eventually learn as many A-List celebrities in Hollywood have, that a decade after the surgery, they no longer resemble themselves… or humans. Try to convince her that if she is altering her appearance to get a man, that’s more than likely not the reason why she can’t get a guy interested in her, and allege that it’s probably because men find her boring, abrasive, or it’s something else about her personality that sickens them. Or, tell her if she goes under the knife and it gets botched as it often does, eventually people will be wondering if she’s a girl or a ghoul. And finally, it’s entirely possible that she has a different ulterior motive for the elective surgery. Maybe she committed a crime and she’s trying to elude law enforcement. If that’s the case, once your daughter is arrested, prosecuted, and sentenced, she won’t have to worry about getting a facelift, because the prison hospital will give her reconstructive facial surgery for free, if she has an oversize masculine cellmate that has anger management issues. I hope this helps.