Dear Blake,
I recently had my hair dyed by my brother-in-law who is a great hairstylist. I have seen his work on other clients, and he knows what he’s doing. I have received a lot of compliments on my new “do.”
Problem is, I didn’t get what I asked for. I was a coward at the time and didn’t speak up. Now my roots are starting to show, and I’ll be needing a touch-up soon. How do I go about going to another salon for what I want without hurting his feelings?
Signed, Gracie
From San Francisco, California
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Dear Gracie,
You should not have to feel guilty about leaving a hairstylist that’s doing substandard work. You must abandon the services of that charlatan, and make it look like it’s not your idea. Here are some suggestions. Tell him your hair fell out thanks to his pathetic treatment, and you have an appointment with an attorney who will advise you of your options. Also mail some clumps of hair to him that you found on the floor at another salon, and allege those are yours. Or, tell him after reading enough magazines about salons, you are compelled to leave him because the best hairstylist are male and gay. And inform him you’ll come back to him if he divorces your sister and gets a sex change. Or, try this. Stop bathing until you smell so bad, he fabricates a reason why you should go to someone else as he hands yo some coupons to buy a case of Glade. Finally, suggest that he does something with your hair that’s so outrageous he refuses to do it. And then tell him that you will find another salon that will carve your name in your scalp with a branding iron. I hope this helps.
Blake