Dear Blake,
I have two wonderful grandparents I love very much. They are the most important people in my life, and I always think about them when planning anything in my life because I want to make them happy.
The problem is I want to go to college out of state and pursue a career that isn’t possible in the city or state they live in. They want me to live with them in a city I can’t be happy in because of this.
How do I tell them I can’t see myself staying there for the rest of my life? I know they won’t be happy hearing it, but I don’t want to disappoint them or make them think I don’t love them anymore by leaving. Please help. I don’t know what to do or what path in life to take.
Signed, Lavern
From Baton Rouge, Louisiana
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Dear Lavern,
I think it’s fantastic they you have such a good relationship with your grandparents. The only thing I can suggest that you do, is to give those two fossils reason for not wanting you to be under the same roof with them, or even in the same county. Here are some ideas. Start bringing home some men that you pretend you’re serious about, that you know they won’t approve of… and unbathed Hell’s Angels should do the trick. Or, start selling some of their expensive possessions on Craigslist, and everything their property coming up missing, and let them see you entering the house after coming back from a shopping spree. Or this idea. Demand that they start catering to your every need while you’re there, but first, hand them a booklet that shows the responsibility of maids and butlers. And finally, if you want a permanent solution, encourage them to go on a boat with you at night in the swamps. It also might be a good idea to take out a life insurance policy on both of them, only if you are sure that neither of them can outswim an alligator when you toss them overboard. I hope this helps.
Blake