Dear Blake,

I have meddling in-laws. Anytime my husband of 20 years and I have a disagreement, he calls his parents to complain about me. On six different occasions, I found messages and Facebook chats between my husband and my in-laws in which they called me a bad mother, a terrible person, crazy, evil, the devil and disparaged my family.

Because of this, I have cut off contact with his relatives, and they cannot come to our house. My husband insists on being around them, and we argue because I want our 9-year-old son to have only limited contact with them. I don’t want them tearing me down in front of him. I also expect my spouse to spend time with me and our son at holidays, but my husband says I’m being unreasonable and I should just “move on and let it go.” His parents refuse to apologize. They say they have done nothing wrong. I need some objective advice.

Signed, Ruth
From Colorado Springs, Colorado

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Your husband is out of line by contacting his relatives when you two get in a disagreement, knowing that they will bad mouth you publicly. But seeing that you can’t stop him or them, you should begin your own mudslinging campaign. Here are some ideas. Post that your husband often says he was abused by his parents while he was growing up, and he regularly has fantasies of strangling both of them while they sleep. Allege that a few of his relatives have additional body parts, because when some of them were strapped for cash, they volunteered to be the subject for some weird government medical testing near a nuclear power plant. Or you can write on Facebook, and say that your own biological family has disowned you because at the wedding they discerned that you were marrying into a family of lunatics and you wouldn’t stop the ceremony. And finally, post on Facebook, that all of your husband’s relatives are members of a local church called Satan’s Siblings”, and you don’t want attend their services for obvious reasons, including the heat is always on high, even during the summer. I hope this helps.