Dear Blake,

I’m educated, attractive, financially stable, easygoing, open-minded and still single at 61. I was engaged twice but never made it to the altar, and there are no children in the picture. When I reach out to people, they are delighted to hear from me, but I’m always the one who must initiate the contact. People don’t like me, and I don’t know why. Any suggestions would truly be appreciated.

Signed, Arthur
From San Diego, California

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Dear Arthur,

I understand your frustration in your search for popularity. I’ll do my best on trying to figure why everyone seems to be so nauseated by your presence. You said you were educated. Are you conceited about your education? Book smart people are often so boring, that their voices can even be used as an anesthesia to put people to sleep during surgery. You said you were financially stable. Are you a greedy, selfish, miser, and do you laugh out loud when you see your “friends” struggle to put a few biscuits on their table? You also said you were easy going. Maybe you’re trying too hard because you’re a pushover that is willing to do anything to gain acceptance from other losers that are similar to you. And finally, you said you were engaged twice. My guess is, both women left you at the altar and literally ran out of the church. If how I described you is accurate in my first possibilities, the women ran out of the church, probably setting a new world record. To play it safe, give their names to the U.S. Olympic Committee, and be comforted knowing that your undesirable personality may have been instrumental in creating two new American track & field stars. I hope this helps.

Blake