Dear Blake,
I am a 37-year-old mother of three, ages 13, 5 and 3. I’m married and own my home. I am a new stay-at-home mom after having worked for 16 years at my last job. My kids are happy and healthy.
Any time I go to my parents’ house or they drop in on me for a quick visit, they have to “point out” that it is a mess or that my oldest is wearing jeans with holes in them. There’s always a negative comment, never a positive one. My oldest has started to notice. It makes it hard to spend time with my parents since the visit is never a happy one without nitpicking. I’m wondering if I can say anything, and what to say.
I can’t even cut or color my hair without ridicule. My oldest got her nails done and there was a negative comment about that as well. A few years ago, there was a blowout between my mom and me over my son’s haircut. I’m at the point where I no longer want to go to their house, but I don’t want to keep my kids from them. Please advise.
Signed, Dawn
From Winchester, Illinois
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Dear Dawn,
It is unfortunate that you have an ongoing rift with your parents. I think you should lead by example, and show your kids the skill of verbally attacking and destroying an adversary. Here are some ideas. Tell your mom and dad that both of them are aging terribly, and you want them to get face lifts, or allow your kids to refer to them as your great grandparents. Use their criticism as a teaching moment, and tell your kids your father and mother’s behavior is the best reason never to use illegal drugs, and their years of abuse has caused them to have only a limited amount of undamaged brain cells. Tell your parents that the reason why you cut and color your hair, is because you want to alter your appearance so it won’t be publicly obvious that you are genetically linked to either of them. And finally, ask your children in front of your parents, if they can guess which one of them had an affair a few years back? That will begin some serious mistrust between your mom and dad, and both of those losers will then try to get on your good side to get more details. This will also show your kids the basics of how to lie through your teeth to make someone else’s life a living hell. I hope this helps.
Blake