Dear Blake,
I have recently unearthed some of my old journals. In them I wrote honestly about my life — my kids, husband, pets, etc. They were a way to vent as well as to describe what my days were like as I kept a home, gardened, worked full time, cared for the kids, etc. A few of the entries concern my spouse who I’m still married to, and they are not flattering. They describe his refusal to help with the chores, his secretive drinking and almost bankrupting us more than once. There are also stories about my children (who are now in their 40s) as children.
I would have loved to know more about my mother’s life and that may be the case with my children. I’m unsure whether to leave them my journals upon my death. The journals might explain a lot of things: why we were always broke, never went on vacations or couldn’t afford the same things their friends had. But I hesitate to make their dad look bad. Should I destroy them or pass them on?
Signed, Brenda
From Flagstaff, Arizona
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Dear Brenda,
I am assuming your children and husband will be mourning when they lose you. But if you want to drastically reduce their upcoming grief, or maybe swap it for anger, put some outrageous things in your journal that’ll have them fuming long after you’re gone. Here are some ideas. Write that your husband was a pathetic lover, and his futile attempts of being passionate were comical, that you can’t count the amount of nights after one of your “sessions”, that you secretly laughed yourself to sleep. Or, you can tell your children that at about six years old, you wanted to rent them out to a sweatshop oversees, but you couldn’t afford the baggage plane tickets. Or this idea. State that you have a favorite child, without giving a name, and the other ones were accidents that you still deeply regret. And lastly, write this. State that you dread Christmas more than any other day, because it nauseated you to be in the same room with so many dimwitted losers, who gave you thoughtless gifts that you would take to the nearest homeless shelter on December 26th. I hope this helps.
Blake