Dear Blake,
I have a good friend who loves to make me chicken soup. She brings it over proudly and enjoys giving me the container. The soup is delicious, except for one thing: It has tiny bones in it. I can’t stand the texture of these little bones, and I’m worried about swallowing one inadvertently.
I have talked to her about it. She said that’s the way her mom used to make chicken soup. She also told me the bones are edible because they’re very small, and they are inevitable because she is using the whole chicken. She promised to strain the soup for me before adding the other ingredients. Unfortunately, I found bones in the strained soup as well.
I don’t know what to do. I really don’t want to eat the soup. I don’t want to waste it, but it would crush her if I told her I didn’t want the soup anymore. Any ideas?
Signed, Martha
From Corbin, Kentucky
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Dear Martha,
I have no idea why someone would leave bones in a pot of soup. What you should do is prepare her some meals that “mom used to make” and see how welcoming she is. Here are some ideas. Tell her that you recently found out that your grandmother was dumped by Colonel Sanders, and you refuse to ever eat chicken again after how much she was hurt when he gave her the axe. Or, tell her you don’t want to eat anymore chicken, because you’ve heard from a reliable source, that the chicken is soon going to replace the bald eagle as the national symbol. Or this suggestion. Make her a meal, and while she’s eating it say it’s road kill, and a few pieces of a Michelin tire. Lastly, make her your version of chicken soup, using a whole chicken… and include the feathers. If she has an issue with the feathers, accuse her of hating the traditional Native American attire because they used lots of feathers in their headdress . When she tries to explain that she’s not a racist, tell her it would be best if she stopped bringing food to your place because it’s making you wonder how much land her ancestors stole from various tribes in the 1800’s. I’m sure after this, either she’ll stop bringing you chicken soup, or remove the splinters first. I hope this helps.
Blake