Dear Blake,
My husband, “Dan,” and I do not consume alcohol, mostly because of our family history. Several years ago while Dan was at a work event, a consultant, “Ken,” took him and some co-workers out for dinner. Ken ordered a bottle of wine for the table. Not wanting to cause a scene, my husband drank the glass poured for him. Now Ken has invited Dan and me to join him and his wife for an evening out, and he wants to “meet early for drinks.”
Dan is sure Ken will buy another bottle to share. I think Dan should give Ken a heads-up beforehand. Dan thinks it would be rude to refuse a drink and doesn’t want to have to go into an explanation as to why we don’t. We don’t care if the people we are with drink alcohol. Is there a polite way to decline without offending? Should it be ahead of time or at the restaurant?
Signed, Shirley
From Seattle, Washington
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Dear Shirley,
I think Dan should tell Ken that he chooses not to drink, for personal reasons. If Ken insists that Dan drinks anyway, then Dan should pretend to be intoxicated after a while, and say some things that makes Ken wish he could wine into water. Here are some ideas. While “staggering”, tell the wives that you wish you could’ve met them twenty years ago… when they used to be attractive. With slurred speech at a social function, state how much you like driving fast after you’re intoxicated, and there are very few things you enjoy more than being pursued by cops in a highspeed chase. Say during dinner in a group setting, that you stopped smoking marijuana after a few drinks, because you’re thinking about trying heroine instead. And lastly, the following day, tell Ken that after you get a little tipsy, you usually forget the entire night. And then add, if you said something that offended anyone, you’d like to apologize to them personally… over cocktails. I hope this helps.
Blake