Dear Blake,

How do you know when a grandparent is no longer capable of babysitting? Recently, my mother-in-law came to visit and, as usual, she babysat our toddler while I ran errands, went to the gym, etc.

When I returned, it was immediately obvious that my son had soiled his diaper, so I changed him. I could tell it had been some time since he had relieved himself. His water bottle and milk were out of his reach because she “didn’t want him to spill it,” so it had been hours since he had a sip of anything. There were smaller issues as well. I spoke with my husband about it, but he downplayed the situation.

Am I overreacting, or is my husband in denial about his mom’s diminishing capabilities? She’s planning another visit with us again soon. Of course I appreciate free babysitting and a loving grandmother, but not to the detriment of my son.

Signed, Betty
From Louisville, Kentucky

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Dear Betty,

The top priority is the safety and welfare of your son. If your husband hasn’t listened to reason, you should start lying through your teeth to get his attention. Here are some ideas. Tell your husband that your mother thinks his son is his daughter, and scolded him about peeing while standing up. Tell him that while he was gone, she wanted the tv turned on so she can watch the moon landing, even if interrupts the Ed Sullivan Show. Or, inform your spouse that your mother-in-law thought his son was a puppy, and she threatened to hit him on the nose with a rolled up newspaper for not coming when called. And finally, this last idea. If he still won’t listen to you and have his mother sent to a nursing home, I suggest you start compiling a list of lies to tell about him that would justify you have him committed to a local nut house. I hope this helps.

Blake