Dear Blake,

For reasons that aren’t entirely clear to me, my mother has always disliked Mother’s Day. She tells us not to get her anything, but I give her a gift and a card anyway. Here’s my question: Should I take her at her word and ignore Mother’s Day this year? What could possibly be her reason for hating Mother’s Day?

Signed, Harold
From Depew, New York

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Dear Harold,

The amount of reasons she doesn’t like Mother’s Day are endless. Unfortunately, her contempt for that day are likely rooted in your very existence. Here are some possibilities. You might have been a difficult pregnancy for her, and your mother may hold it against for all of your unnecessary kicking when you were still in the womb. How were your grades when you were in school? If they were mediocre to poor, maybe your mom couldn’t deal with the fact of how stupid you were, and if you currently haven’t amounted to much, she may feel that you have proven that her concerns were justified. Another possibility is, your mother may have wanted a daughter instead of a son, and she may secretly want you to consider cross-dressing so you can be a little closer to her first choice. And this last possibility is something you may consider. Maybe deep down inside she is angry at herself, and it has nothing to do with you. She might still be disappointed in herself for not using a form of birth control… hours before you were conceived. I hope this helps.