Dear Blake,

My husband and I live in southern Florida. My problem is our children, grandchildren and their spouses. When they come to visit, they only eat certain foods and need “healthy this” and “healthy that.” I feel like we’re being used as a hotel and restaurant. I want to see them, but it is becoming exhausting. What should I do?

Signed, Doris
From Tampa, Florida

*                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *                    *

Dear Doris,

It appears to me that you are reluctant to tell your family to stay in a hotel. So, if they are going to stay with you, make sure the next visit has them screaming and fleeing to the nearest Holiday Inn. Here are some ideas. Tell them you want to gain weight, so you don’t want to be around any foods that will make you get off your new artery hardening diet. Or, tell them you have a rare disease that causes you to break out in hives every time you’re around vegetables, vitamins, or anything that’s low in calories. Or this idea. Before they began making their travelling plans, tell them you are fasting, and any nourishment in your home will ruin your “spiritual” connection. And finally, this last idea. If they insist in getting fed in your residence, tell them to bring their own food, their own pots and pans, cooking utensils, and their own oven. But because they are family, you should allow them to use your microwave, but charge those weirdos by the second. I hope this helps.